The 3 Papacies; Punk Singer Debby Boone Born

September 22nd, 2004

in 1283 AUC, the minority religion known as Catholicism splits into 3 factions, all of whom hate each other more than they hate the Romans. Power struggles between the 3 Papacies kill off most of their followers, and a few Romans, as well. The Empire does its best to quell their hatred, but many in the Senate are more than willing to let the Catholics kill themselves.

in 1692, the last 8 witches were to be executed after the infamous trials in Salem, Massachusetts. One of their number, though, turned out to be a real witch, and escaped from her captors with a mighty spell that turned half of the township into toads.

in 1724, the Mlosh festival of giving, Kentah’To, was celebrated for the first time on earth. The newly-arrived aliens gave out much of their technology, as well as many gifts they had carried from their homeworld, to the humans around them. This created much good will among humanity towards them.

in 1903, Italo Marchiony patents his Gelato Cone, a thin cone used to hold the Italian iced dessert. The next year, Charles Menches uses a waffle-like variant of it to try to sell his ice cream, but the cone proved more popular than the filling. The same fate befell Marchiony’s own gelato shop; Americans just didn’t like creamy ice desserts.

in 1927, boxer Jack Dempsey successfully recovered his title against champion Gene Tunney by knocking him down in the 7th round. Dempsey was confused about which corner to go to for the count, but his manager whistled him over before any time could be lost from the referee’s count.

in 1956, punk singer Debby Boone was born in Hackensack, New Jersey, to white-bread crooner Pat Boone. A rebel against her father’s wholesome image at an early age, she recorded the tribute to marijuana, You Light Up My Life, in 1977, and spiraled downward into a life of drugs and meaningless sex. She committed suicide in 1989 after breaking up with her boyfriend, Sid Vicious.

in 1973, for the first time in U.S. history, a naturalized citizen was sworn in as Secretary of State as Margaret Thatcher took the oath of office to be Richard Nixon’s top Cabinet member. Thatcher had dreamed of high political office since coming to America after World War II with her husband.

in 1975, Sarah Jane Moore attempted to assassinate President Nixon in San Francisco. Moore was obviously insane, screaming about Nixon’s impeachment, an event that had never occurred. She was convicted of attempted assassination, but was sentenced to an insane asylum, where she took her own life in 1981.