Nixon Shows His Lighter Side

September 16th, 2004

in 904, the infidel Tomas de Torquemada, murderer of hundreds of faithful Muslims, was put to the death by Caliph Faris bin Yusuph in Cordoba. Torquemada had been the leader of a handful of Christian extremists who had terrorized the Spanish peasants for years, attempting to turn them from the true faith to his false one.

in 1899, Human League terrorists assassinate First Minister Tiri’Kema of the Congress of Nations. In spite of residual ill-will about the problems caused by Mlosh weather-control technology, Tiri’Kema is mourned by the world. Her wise leadership had been instrumental in guiding the world through the last decade of the 19th century.

in 1920, Enrico Caruso recorded his first album for Edison Records, Thomas Edison’s record company. Edison himself had negotiated the deal which brought Caruso in, because of the enormous prestige the greatest singer in the world could give to his company. Unfortunately, Caruso’s first record with Edison was also his last, as he died a few days later.

in 1940, Communist Representative Bill Munro of Texas became the Speaker of the House. He held this position until he retired from his seat in 1962 to teach at the University of Texas. Comrade Munro was responsible for Texas’ leading role in electronics, space travel and computers.

in 1949, German Reich forces in Lebanon massacre the civilians of Sabra and Shatila. This area becomes a jump point for the attack on the holy land itself; by Christmas, they control Jerusalem, and are moving forces into position to take Mecca.

in 1956, mercurial actor Phil Rourke, Jr. was born in Schenectady, New York. At times more a brawler than an actor, Rourke thrilled audiences in such films as An Officer And A Gentleman, Angel Heart, and The Pope Of Greenwich Village, which earned him an Oscar nomination. In 1991, Rourke became a professional boxer; six months into his new “career”, he was knocked into a coma, and died shortly thereafter.

in 1968, attempting to show his lighter side to the voters, Republican presidential candidate Richard Nixon appears on the comedy-variety show Laugh-In, voicing their stock line, “Sock it to me.” After he loses the election, Nixon decides to leave politics. His fun with the Laugh-In crowd leads him to pursue television production, and he produces several hit series in the 70’s, such as Charlie’s Angels and M*A*S*H.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan and Livinia Nixon retire to a beachfront home in Darwin and try to put the last couple of months behind them. They have both been given a rather generous pension by the Australian government – on the condition that they will be available for further emergencies at a moment’s notice.