Saturday, October 09, 2004

Luddite Riot; Leif Ericson Discovers Vinland

October 9th, 2004

in 1000, Leif Ericson discovers the great land of Vinland. Over his life, he manages to convince thousands of his fellow Scandinavians to migrate to the country. While no conflict with the natives erupted during Ericson’s lifetime, the flow of Europeans to the continent after the Vikings opened it up led to decades of war before the Vinlandians and Europeans achieved an uneasy balance on the continent.

in 1253, Archbishop Robert Grosseteste of Canterbury dies on a visit to Buckinghamshire. The Archbishop had used his office to advance learning within the Holy British Empire, and had been a patron of the University of Oxford.

in 1811, General Ned Ludd provoked his followers into a riot at a factory in Manchester, England, in protest of the new Mlosh technologies that were being produced. The Luddites felt that the knowledge the Mlosh were bringing to humanity was unnatural and should be suppressed, and they were willing to take drastic steps to do so.

in 1815, operatic composer Giuseppe Verdi was born in Roncole, Italy. While his first opera, Oberto, showed the promise of a great musician, his follow-up, Un Giorno Di Regno, was an utter failure from which he never recovered. Although there have attempts to revive his reputation, his fan base remains confined to a few academics.

in 1946, the hilarious comedy The Iceman Cometh, following the wacky misadventures of a family waiting for the iceman during a heat wave, premiered on Broadway. The author, Gene O’Neill, was hailed with a Tony for Best Comedy of 1946.

in 1975, peace activist Dr. Jonas Salk of the Soviet States of America wins the Nobel Peace Prize. After retiring from his medical career, he had spent his life pursuing change in the Soviet States, and an end to its aggression towards other nations. While the award is celebrated in Europe, it is denounced by the government of America as “another capitalist reward for a counter-revolutionary.

in 4697, Chdo reinforcements arrive and begin consultation with the Chinese as to what might be done to stop the Y’T’T’li. The Chdo are opposed to the idea of allowing the Y’T’T’li time within the system. They feel that, given time and the raw material of the solar system, they will be unstoppable. A bold plan is conceived, and the Chdo ships carry out the weapon on which humanity’s hopes rest.

in 2003, British Poet Laureate Gordon Sumner was awarded the CBE (Commander of the British Empire). The dashingly handsome Sumner turned the head of many a young lady at the ceremony, and rumors have spread since then of his dalliance with at least two young princesses. This, more than anything else he had done in office, made poetry cool again.


EdWonk said...

You have got a very funny site. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

omg how can this be funny

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