Thursday, October 21, 2004

Qang'dlip'a; Sylvie Gerard Is Raptured

October 21st, 2004

in 1722, the Mlosh celebrated their first Qang’dlip’a festival on earth. The main colony ship on the edge of the Sahara invited the humans from the surrounding Berber communities to join in, marking the first time non-Mlosh had participated in the festival, as well. Honor was given to the ancestors and descendants of the Mlosh on board the various colony ships, and earth was affirmed as their new home.

in 1805, the Battle of Trafalgar took place at sea between Admiral Horatio Nelson’s British fleet and Napolean’s Italian sailors. When Nelson was killed on his ship, it demoralized the British navy and wrecked their chances of victory in the conflict; Napolean’s men swept them from the sea and continued their dominance of the waves.

in 1879, Thomas Edison perfects a display for his Eddie difference engines that consists of hundreds of small light-bulbs behind a smoked glass window. The Eddie, by controlling what lights come on, is able to spell out letters and even rudimentary pictures with the lights, and this revolutionizes what people are able to do with the difference engine.

in 1929, Comrade Ursula K. LeGuin is born in Berkeley, California Soviet. She rose through the ranks of the party machinery in California to head the Press Department in Washington, D.C. under Comrade President Gus Hall from 1970-1972. After Comrade Hall left office, she went into private, penning children’s stories. In her later years, she has become somewhat reactionary, decrying the “excesses” of American Communism, and so her writing has fallen out of favor.

in 1930, Astrid Pflaume, neo-Nazi time traveler, during a particularly hostile engagement between her Greater Zionist Resistance and Russian Cossacks, is shot in the chest. Fortunately for her, a young medic on her team is able to save her life. On her recovery, she awards him the Medal of Abraham, the G.Z.R.’s highest award. It is thought that this is the point at which she decided to turn on her former benefactors and aid the Jews of this timeline in maintaining their lives and their freedom.

in 1964, the musical Pygmalion made its debut in New York City to rave reviews. Based on the play by George Bernard Shaw, starring Reggie Harrison and Audrey Ruston, the tuneful adaptation didn’t shy away from Shaw’s somewhat bleak ending, which had worried the studio. As it turned out, nobody wanted Eliza to end up with Professor Higgins, anyway.

in 4683, Ying-Chin Ho, a Formosa islander on the Imperial Council, dies of inoperable cancer. A bright man of sunny disposition, Ying was often mentioned as a future Emperor by his colleagues, but his disease sadly put an end to that dream.

in 2003, as the fire is lit on Sylvie Gerard’s stake to burn her to death, a fourth clear trumpet sound blasts through the land, and a light from above shines on Ms. Gerard. Her bonds slip away and her body floats into the sky and disappears. As the entire event was captured on video being shown live to the entire Holy British Empire, it is difficult to dispute the fact of the event; nevertheless, Pope Righteous I announces that Sylvie Gerard has been saved by her Satanic lord, and all good Christians should pray for her soul.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!


Your jaw will drop!

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