Texas Remains Independent; Comrade Hall Dies

October 13th, 2004

in 1845, Texas fails to ratify the state constitution pushed by those who want Texas to join the United States. It remains an independent nation for another 10 years while the wannabe Americans regroup. During this period, they lose almost half of their western territory to Mexico.

in 1866, 20 Mlosh are taken hostage in an orbital cruise ship. Jacob Whitley and Lars Barrick, the ringleaders of the gang who take over the ship, vow to crash the vessel into the Tower of London if 40 Human Leaguers are not released from British prisons within 48 hours. The British government refuses to release the prisoners, and Whitley targets the Tower. Moments before breaking atmosphere, the hostages overpower the terrorists and take back control of the ship; fortunately for them, because the British Space Navy was about to shoot them down.

in 1914, in the 11th World Series of Town Ball, the Boston Pilgrims sweep the Philadelphia Libbies, the first time this happened in a World Series. The streets of Boston ran with beer that night.

in 1917, the Fatima Hoax was uncovered as dozens of people in the crowd of 50,000 saw Lianor Ortiz sneak out of the woods to approach the 3 children who had claimed to have visions of the Virgin Mary. When Ortiz attempted to tell the crowd that she was the Blessed Virgin, those who had seen her un-miraculous entrance cried foul, and the faithful almost killed the young woman. She was imprisoned for 10 years for fraud.

in 1925, Alfie Schneider was born in Long Island, New York. Schneider was the comic voice of the Semitic-African Resistance in the 1960’s, confronting audiences with the dangers of racism in his stage act. He was lynched in 1972 by a mob in Virginia after a particularly hard-hitting show where he called the KKK “a bunch of fairies in their mother’s dresses”.

in 1963, the Daily Mirror referred to the hysteria young girls went into at Pete Best’s concerts as Bestmania after his appearance at the Palladium in London was barely heard over the screaming. The phrase stuck, and Best even released an album titled Bestmania.

in 2000, former Comrade President Gus Hall dies at the age of 90, and is buried with full state honors. Comrade Hall was a towering presence in the White House, and is responsible for open trade with China as well as many important civil rights and economic initiatives. For most Americans of the period, though, he will always be remembered as the sure hand that took over the nation after the assassination of Comrade President Joel Rosenberg.

in 2003, across the Holy British Empire, millions of people hear a very clear trumpet note. The event lasts for almost 30 seconds, and is greeted with apprehension by the populace. Pope Righteous I issues a statement the next day that instructs good Christians to ignore such obvious acts of witchcraft, and to report anyone claiming to have knowledge of the trumpet music to their local priest.