Sunday, October 10, 2004

Phlogiston Discoverer Born; Y'T'T'li Flee System

October 10th, 2004

in 1731, English natural philosopher Henry Cavendish was born in Nice, France. Cavendish was the discoverer of the element phlogiston, the combustible part of air. His conclusions led to the banning of large fires, lest they ignite the atmosphere and burn the world.

in 12-8-4-7-12, Tlaloc showed his displeasure with the Oeztec by bringing a great storm from the ocean onto the land. Tens of thousands died in the islands of the gulf, and thousands more when the storm hit the mainland. Emperor Calzotz ordered the sacrifice of 100 slaves to appease the god.

in 1846, Neptune’s moon Triton is settled by British colonizer William Lassell. The colony was notable for its lack of Mlosh members; some have speculated that Lassell had sympathies for the various anti-Mlosh movements in the United Kingdom, and excluded the aliens from his society for that purpose.

in 1924, brilliant guerilla filmmaker Ed Wood was born in Poughkeepsie, New York. Wood was a pioneer in making high-quality, low-budget movies, often with props and costumes stolen from higher-budget film locations. Wood’s work broke new ground in gender politics, portraying transvestites and homosexuals with sensitivity and style. He won an Oscar for Best Director with his masterpiece, Plan 9 From Outer Space.

in 1957, President Dwight Eisenhower issued a formal apology to the Finance Minister of Ghana, Komla Agbeli Gbdemah, after he was refused service in a whites-only restaurant in Dover, Delaware. This incident brings home to Ike the injustice of segregation, and he pushes through a Civil Rights Act the next year, legally ending segregation in America. “Just as I fought the injustice of Nazism,” Eisenhower told the nation, “so must I stand against the idea that a man can be denied his fundamental rights because of the color of his skin.” In spite of often violent protests across the nation, both Eisenhower and his successor John F. Kennedy stand firm, and segregation is not allowed to rise again in America.

in 1981, in a rare meeting of all living ex-presidents and President Ronald Reagan, a bomb explodes, killing all of them as well as over 2 dozen spectators at the meeting. Vice-President George Bush is sworn in as President, becoming the first former CIA chief to assume the office. Bush’s first act as President is to issue a pardon to a man named Karl Rove, for classified reasons.

in 1985, radio prankster George Wells died in Hollywood, California. During the Great Depression, Wells created radio shows that sounded so real, people thought they were news events. His peak performance, The War of the Worlds on Halloween, 1938, scared millions into thinking that an actual Martian invasion was happening in New Jersey. After the wide-spread publicity of this event, Wells was unable to convince people of the veracity of his shows anymore, and his career faded into obscurity.

in 4697, Emperor Xiao of earth informs the Y’T’T’li that they have a matter of hours to vacate the solar system. The Chdo are sending out a nanite wave which, traveling at the speed of light, will disable all non-shielded mechanical devices; and only the Chdo know how to shield from it. The Y’T’T’li flee the system.


Jim said...

Wow, I really thought the Y’T’T’li spelled the end of it all. Whew.

The Rove pardon was pretty funny.

Anonymous said...

George Wells? What happened to Orson Welles in that timeline, I wonder?

Anonymous said...

Ed Wood, Oscar winner for Plan 9? [snicker] Classic.


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